I’m here, and I’m waiting❤️

I have been in this hospital bed for almost a month now, discovering how precious my life had been, thinking of every little things, regretting all those days I cried in vain. The lights kept flickering on the pale white ceiling jist like my consciousness that kept crossing the borders of intellect at odd times. Even today I spent hours using the last drop of life in me to move that little finger. But life has already left it’s hopes on me. Now all I want is peace, complete and tranquil peace. I don’t care about what would happen…..The breathe could stop, maybe I would vanish from these threads of life and kinship. But I want this peace. I want this never ending sleep.

After a few hours, I discovered myself seeping into the lap of an unknown world. I could feel happiness here.

“Where am I?? In a dream!? Or a trance!?”

There was a faint line that divides this state between life and death. And this was where I was destined to meet a lon forgotten friend, who had been with me all through these years. Even when I considered myself alone, she was there…like the throbs of my heart – ‘my soul’.

As she moved towards me, I could feel ripples of joy ringing through every corner of my heart. Even the awkward silence of this meeting kept energizing the moment. I asked myself in my head,

“How could I forget her?”

And as if she could hear my thoughts, she answered, ” I can understand. You were busy helping others. You were busy making others accept you as the best.”

I couldn’t stop my facial muscles from forming expressions of puzzlement. She continued,

” Why do you want to go back? There is peace here.”

“I miss my life. I want to get back to my familiar surroundings – my family, my friends, my…. All that is mine is back there…”

She was expressionless, a calm face. And then from the corner of her lips, I could see a sarcastic smile breaking.

” What about me? You don’t miss me, your soul?”

I was speechless. All these years, while trying to pursue my selfish priorities, I had forgotten her. I had forgotten to say a hello, or even miss her. I wanted to say sorry, but what was the point now? I am lifeless and our separate is inevitable.

Inviting me back from my thoughts, she said, “No, it’s not. I still love you so much.I still want to be with you. I’m waiting for you to ask me to come back to you…. I’m waiting for an embrace…..

….I’m here, and I’m waiting…”

What should I tell her now? I have no words. I feel that I have sinned. I want this embrace but would she take me back?  I missed her now, and I want her more than anything. I want her like a my long lost lover… To complete this lovestory. I want to love without the limits of the conditions of life. Even if that means death for me, I want this embrace like a thirsty field wanting a drop of water to trickle down its parched throat.

She opened her arms towards me. I ran into her arms, the darkness that surrounded us was no more eerie. I was melting into her. And I felt the mist of oblivion slowly lifting. I could see the darkness melting away, into an unseen horizon. I could feel her warmth. This was indeed divine, this embrace. This was true love, I know this now.

I could see lights flickering again. The familiar white ceiling, the scent of illness, the music of the machines that kept my life going…

But something was new in them. A new sense of belongingness was there in my body.

And a faint voice whispered,

“I’m here…I still love you…”